The Morning View from Lullskull West
When I moved out to Los Angeles, my goals were to get closer to the film industry, demystify how it worked, and from there, formulate a way to make films for a living. Well, I’ve been out here 9 years come this October, and in that time I’ve paired everything down to what matters most to me: making films, period. When I came to the conclusion that the healthiest course was to uncouple the act of writing from the pressure of earning money, it eased a monkey fist of tension that had been balled in my stomach for years, going all the way back to the “where is this all leading?” anxiety that was always dogging me in College. It was only when I realized that I wanted to make films no matter what the financial benefit, that I knew I had to scratch that innate itch until I was satisfied I’d come to a plateau on it. I’m still in the process of climbing up to that plateau, and when we finish Northstar, you’ll have to ask me if I’m still itching for more.
Point is, “Success” by my definition is interchangeable with Growth. It is not some static object. It is not a finish line. What’s more, I suspect you don’t have licence to take a break for the rest of your life after you’ve “made it”.
This post started as a first stab at what writing means to me right now in my life and how that relates to Northstar. Before we get into that, I’m going to take an inventory of habits (for lack of a better word) that have helped me keep my eye on the ball whenever I’ve felt tempted to clear the desk and become a construction worker or something. While this is written mostly with Artists, Writers, Actors and fellow Filmmakers in mind, you could apply these mid-game pulse-checkers to any dream you cherish:
- Show Up: I learned this basic equation during an earlier life when I was pursuing music: show up, practice, stop, think about what you can improve, repeat. Some days that means getting up early to give that notebook an hour or coming home after work and sitting by a dim light to draw, but I’ve typically found that it was in those moments that I got better. At first, I don’t think the actual work you produce matters as much as the fact that you are making time to engage with it regularly. You’ve simply got to Show Up. Wrestle with that beast regularly and your fear of producing something bad will come out in the wash of a relentlessly obeyed schedule.
- Goal Setting: Once you’ve jumped the mental hurdle that’s stopped you from producing work on a timely basis, you can begin to look forward and consider where it’s all heading. Will all this creative exploration crystallize in the form of a book? A comic? An audition? A movie? A song? When I was a little, an early mind-blower was the story of Babe Ruth pointing to left field and knocking that sucker right where he damn well told you he would. When you direct your attention towards a very fixed point, I think it’s true that you martial a confidence that needs to be there, whether you consciously know you have it or not.
- Push Your Comfort Zone: Let’s say you’ve reached a goal. Great, now you’ve broken a barrier. An assumption about yourself has been forever demolished. Where to next? Don’t let old or false notions of yourself hold you back. The more you push, the more the world rebounds back to meet your ambition with fresh options. Even so, I’d still advise paying close attention to what feels right for you. This is tricky, because it could come off as me saying don’t do something if you are afraid, but that’s not what I’m getting at. Being afraid is no reason not to do something incredible. However if doing something doesn’t feel right, obey that impulse.
- Love Your Friends: Life informs. Make regular time to turn off your worries and be fully present with your friends and loved ones. Who knows, that unplanned phone conversation with your dad, that night out laughing your ass off with your best friends, or that string of in-jokes you share with your significant other all day — all of that time with friends could help you put a finger on some insight you needed. Or maybe not. Maybe you were supposed to provide that insight to someone else. While I’m prone to introversion, I make every moment I can to be with the people I care about most. With the love of good people in your life, everything else becomes marginal. Everything.
- Surround Yourself with People that Inspire You: This doesn’t mean that you should pad your insecurity with yes-men that don’t care enough to set you straight when you need realistic advice. Again, this can be tricky, because if you have too many people giving you positive reinforcement, you might lose a certain edge. On the other hand, we ALL have known people that are willing, whether they know it or not, to advise without prompting that you should give up and stop. Rely on the bedrock of your intuition to decide which people in your life have a net positive effect on your mental health, and which of those are people that psychically pull you back in the box.
- Patience: This all takes so much time. Northstar itself has taken 5 years of life to realize and I’m still finding new ways to make it better. I don’t think it will always be this way, I just think that NS required us to learn a few new tricks. Now, I’ll be the first to recommend following through until you’ve completed something, but always be open to letting whatever you are working on evolve to match the rhythms of your heart and your life. I don’t think you should continue working on a current project that doesn’t ring true to your present mindset. When you are working on it, this should feel like the bleeding edge state of your art. It’s only when you’re done that I think a work becomes the marker of a moment in your growth cycle. And remember, this is good, vital work. Don’t worry about how long it takes, man.
- Do Not Compare: Ultimately, I think the only way for anyone to know the full scope of his or her capabilities starts with a solid base of self-respect. If someone else in your life is successful, be happy for them. They are on their own path, and you must walk yours with confidence. Pay attention and follow through on where your natural creative inclinations lead you. Trust that you actually have a perspective and that it’s helping you get better acquainted with yourself. As you progress through this inner search, you’ll inevitably trip over new insights that only you can share, and this is how you develop an authentic voice.
- Be Present: Despite all that’s come before and all that might come tomorrow, you can always choose to be your best self in this moment. Try not to think of yourself as the stitched-together sum total of every mistake you’ve ever made. By the same token, the future might be scary, but you can always choose to approach it with a sense of possibility. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by all the issues that could stop you from moving forward, take a second to monitor your steps, count your breaths, or feel the damn air part across your face. Do whatever it takes to step outside of the net of worry over what happened or what might happen. Today, right now, you are so lucky to be alive, to have the mental freedom to chart your own course and to use that knowledge as a means of putting something good into the world. Don’t waste another second in some other moment.
Conclusion and Reading Suggestions
Whoa, that got a little self-helpy towards the end! Oh well! Now that we have all that out of the way, the second part of this post will be a case study on how I applied some of these habits when developing our latest project, Northstar. Below are some books I recommend checking out. As always, consider buying from our favorite bookstore, Snowbound!
Some Good Books for Creative Help
- Stephen King: On Writing
- Brenda Ueland: If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit
Stuff I use for Mental Health
- Jon Kabat-Zinn: Wherever You Go, There You Are
- Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching (Mitchell Translation)
Follow our Movie, Northstar:
Steppelands 
Nicely done, Seth.
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